Tumblr (3.0; @bambies)http://bambies.tumblr.com/<p>i don’t ever wish i was dead, just sometimes i wish i didn’t exist</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/166287845http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/166287845Tue, 18 Aug 2009 22:30:11 -0700<p>i’m ok with the fact that i like myself better in my head</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/134198738http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/134198738Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0700<p>today is one of those days where everything hurts</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/133363921http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/133363921Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:25:33 -0700<p>i’m sitting in the dark but the moon is right above my skylight and i can’t sleep.  my legs are all goosepimply even though it’s really hot</p> <p>i messed up again tonight but it’s probably for the better anyways</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/132754901http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/132754901Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:10:47 -0700<p>when you’re tired after spending time with people, is that depression or just being an introvert?</p> <p>i’m ISTJ but i always forget</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131762344http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131762344Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:29:18 -0700<p>books i want to read this summer</p> <p>- the sandman by neil gaiman <br/>- from hell by alan moore <br/>- the saga of the swamp thing by alan moore <br/>- the color out of space selected by d thin <br/>- the best of h.p. lovecraft introduction by robert bloch <br/>- dreamtigers by jorge luis borges <br/>- the abortion: a historical romance by richard brautigan <br/>- galapagos by kurt vonnegut <br/>- hocus pocus by kurt vonnegut <br/>- kornwolf by tristan egolf <br/>- trainspotting by irvine welsh <br/>- the thought gang by tibor fischer <br/>- i like being killed by tibor fischer <br/>- paradise lost by john milton <br/>- nothing in this book is true, but it’s exactly how things are: the esoteric meaning of the monuments on mars by bob frissell <br/>- gravity’s rainbow by thomas pynchon <br/>- the wind-up bird chronicle by haruki murakami <br/>-almost transparent blue by ryu murakami <br/>- l’etranger by albert camus</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131756974http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131756974Sat, 27 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0700<p>i borrowed ” the varieties of religious experience: a study in human nature ” by william james from the library so it’s on my mind.  the first lecture is about religion and neuroses it’s interesting.</p> <p>i also got “authentic knowing: the convergence of science and spiritual aspiration ” by imants baruss.  i kind of want to read the new testament this summer but i don’t know where to start.  christinaity doesn’t have something equivalent to the talmud i don’t think</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131021049http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/131021049Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:02:33 -0700<p>adele and i were talking about religion vs spirituality last night while we were falling asleep.  i like the idea of religion even though i feel like a lot of it is impersonal and doesn’t necessarily have a deeper connection to the human condition.  but i like sort of the layers of reality that are created by different beliefs</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/130410715http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/130410715Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:00:44 -0700<p>i am venturing into unknown ideaspace</p> <p>i have lots to think about right now but i’m not sure how to write it down.  i hate that, when your thoughts don’t really translate into words</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/130396837http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/130396837Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0700<p>i continually astound myself with the ability to make the WORST DECISIONS EVER</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/129204374http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/129204374Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:27:00 -0700<p>i hate the days when my mind doesn’t work</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/128574279http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/128574279Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:17:09 -0700<p>last night i had this dream where everyone i know was standing in a line in a quiet room wearing ball gowns.  i snorted a bunch of cocaine and then my entire face went numb and i thought i was going to die but sort of in this offhand way like i wasn’t really concerned about it at all.  and then i woke up</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/127961911http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/127961911Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:05:00 -0700<p>i want to be constantly humbled by the people around me</p> <p>(but as much as i hate myself and i really, really do i also feel enlightened in my self-hatred)</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/127201448http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/127201448Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:24:25 -0700<p>the house is empty it’s nice</p> <p>it’s sort of pathetic how much i avoid interacting with other people, but i still wish that “they” (i mean everyone but this is also an abstract reference to people that don’t exist but i imagine are worth my time) would interact with me.  what i mean is i need validation from other people to make me feel real, it’s sick</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/126723500http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/126723500Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:11:33 -0700<p>i’m trying to be a better person.<br/>that’s a lie but i wish it wasn’t</p>http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/126295401http://bambies.tumblr.com/post/126295401Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:06:00 -0700